Kurama's Vacation
by Bomb-O-Maniac
Summary: Title change and I moved it from a differant penname to this one. 13 for language. Kurama goes on vacation! What kind of mischief does our wiley kitsune get himself into now? R&R to find out! [On Hiatus]
1. Pillows

Kurama's vacation 

By Bomb-O-Maniac

-

Chapter One

-

16 years ago he was Youko Kurama. The greatest thief and bandit the Makai/Spirit World/Ninjenkai.

8 years ago he was merely a human child attending school.

4 years ago he re-entered the demon world and retook his former name 'Kurama'.

1 ½ years ago he, along with two others, stole three artifacts from the Spirit World Royal vaults.

He betrayed both of them and used the artifact he had stolen for his own personal needs. Later he returned the artifact he had taken back to the new Spirit World Detective and atoned for his crimes. He is now currently serving parole as a Spirit World Detective.

In essence…

All he basically had to do was baby-sit two idiot humans and make sure Hiei didn't do anything to land them in prison. So nothing to it, right?

Right?

WRONG!!!

It was harder than hell to keep Kuwabara and Yusuke alive; to keep Hiei out of trouble; not to mention keeping his hair perfect AND continue to get good grades in school.

Kurama sighed and thanked his head on his desk as he listened to Kuwabara and Yusuke get into yet ANOTHER fight in his living room.

CRASH!!

Kurama winced. He'd have to replace that window - AGAIN!!

"URAMESHI!! Look what you did!!"

"What?! You were the one who went through the window!!"

"So?! You're the one who pushed me - QUIT LAUGHING SHRIMP BEFORE I BEAT YOUR FACE IN!!"

"WHY YOU LITTLE - !!" Kuwabara yelled. He probably tried to jump Hiei (and fail miserably yet again) Kurama thought randomly. He thanked his head again. The sound Yusuke's insane laughing firmed his resolve.

He needed a vacation.

-

Yusuke looked around at the… err… what was left of Kurama's living room.

Anyways… to make a long story short…

ONE: Kuwabara and Yusuke got into another fight.

TWO: Kuwabara got thrown through a window (the same window he gets thrown through every other time (a/n: that poor window)).

THREE: Hiei showed up.

FOUR: Hiei and Kuwabara promptly got into a fight.

FIVE: Kuwabara got knocked out.

SIX: Yusuke laughed his ass off.

"Guys… Kurama's not going to like this…" Kuwabara said a bit worriedly (( a/n: O.O when did he wake up? I didn't write that out!!)). Well, he wasn't exactly a bit worried - it was more like 'so-damn-scared-he-peed-his-pants' - not to mention shaking like hell.

"Yea... Where is he anyways? You'd think he'd have shown up after all the noice we made." He looked at Hiei who's brow was furrowed and was glaring at nothing in particular.

"Umm, Hiei? Hello? Ninjenkai to Hiei!" Yusuke waved his hand in front of Hiei's face.

"Hey, maybe the shrimp died like that?" Kuwabara commented.

"Nah - "

"Hn. Idiots - I'm not dead - I was looking for Kurama's ki." Hiei glared. Kuwabara blinked.

Why would you be looking for it if he's upstairs?" He asked very slowly (( a/n: doing some major thinking, ne?))

"Moron - because he's not there. He's gone." With that said he unsheathed his sword and headed toward Kurama's room. Yusuke and Kuwabara fell into step behind him.

They were deathly quiet as they reached Kurama's room. Hiei turned the door handle and pushed it open. Compared to the mass destruction of the downstairs area - Kurama's room looked almost sterile.

(Almost being the key word when there are flower petals on the floor by numerous potterd plants)

Anyways, the stereo was on low, there were homework papers and text book stacked mostly on his dest next to his computer, the window was wide open and a soft breese was ruffling the curtains.

"Ha!" Kuwabara yelled. "See! I told you he was up here! He's just sleeping!" he pointed to a lump on the bed that was Kurama.

"Hn." Hiei... err... 'hn'd'. He approached the bed slowly and raised his katana with both hands over his head, grinning sadistically all the while.

"Hiei! What are you - !"

"HIEI!"

"NO!"

"KURA-!"

"NO!"

Hiei's sword glinted in the light, and time seemed to stand still for Kuwabara and Yusuke as tehy watched the short fire apparition decapitate the lump on the bed.

**-**

**AUTHORS NOTE!**

**Alrighty then. I moved this fic. It was on one of my other names and now it's on this one. Why? Simple! It's easier for me to keep track of all me stories that way!**

DUH!

(side note: It's now 5:15 a.m. sunday morning ONLY FIVE MORE DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS EVE!!!)

**-**

**Bomb: I'm so not going to get any presents for christmas because of this...**

**King: Damn straight.**

**Bomb: -glares- I'm ingnoring you.**

**Red(Kurama): YOU DECAPITATED ME HIEI!!**

**spiky(hiei): And it was fun.**

**Red: I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!**

**Spiky: Blame Bomb... she wrote it.**

**Bomb: eheheheheh... O.O**

**Red: -glares- HOW DARE YOU KILL ME!!!!**

**Bomb: -disappears-**

**-**

**Please review! I hope you liked this first chapter. I liked it (Red: EVIL WENCH!). LOL. Flame me if you want.**

**I killed Kurama.**

**-prepares grave-**


	2. seer saw and half assed jobs

_**Chapter Two**_

-

-

-

-

"Has your vision come to pass, my Lord Seer?" A wrapped in bandages and a large black cloak questioned.

"It has. The silver Kitsune has left his den. And, as I foresaw, he is alone." answered a short man. This was the Lord Seer. He had milky white, short cropped hair; glassy blue eyes; and dark, almost black, skin. "Now for my payment." he rasped and held a bone thin hand towards the bandaged person - thing.

"Here, take your payment old bat." The cloaked person tossed a small sack full of gold coins on the floor next to the seer. They scattered everywhere. "But I will be back…" The seer did not see his grin behind the bandages and dark hood as the person left the rancid old hut. Yes, he would come back and in the end kill the old man and take back what was his. He wasn't going to let the seers greedy fingers finger his gold any longer than absolutely possible.

Besides, the job was done half-assed anyways…

-

Feathers floated through the air and gushed from the pillows open - wait -

Feathers…

Pillows…

No blood gushing from a body and fox-boys head not rolling around on the floor…

"That is SO not fucking funny!" Yusuke bellowed as he leapt fore ward and ripped the bedding off the bed. More feathers fluttered through the air. Kuwabara gaped.

"GAH! Hiei turned Kurama into a bunch of pillows and chopped him into bits!" he yelled and began to run around in circles until Yusuke took the liberty and pounded him into the floor.

"Shut up you moron!" He yelled. "This is a sad moment! Kurama's dead! We have to beat midget monkey into a pulp now because it's ALL -smack- HIS -kick- FAULT -hit- FOX-BOY -punch- IS -smack- GONE!!!" -kick hit smack-.

Hiei, if he had been a lesser man, uh, demon, would have face faulted into the basement. So instead he just settled for a nice large sweat-drop. 'Idiots' he thought to himself 'I should have never agreed to this - damn you Kurama and your black mailing ways' he snarled silently and jumped out the window and into the tree right outside the room.

/_It's all your fault you know/_

'Shut up'

/_You can't blame Kurama… I'd want to get away from you and those two idiots If I were him, too/_

'Didn't I tell you to shut up… and what do you mean 'you and those two idiots' ?'

_/Well you sort of are/was his problem, too, you know. You and your tendencies to try and kill people…/_

'Are you telling me that I'm bad?'

_/Yes… but it's still your fault/_

'I hate you'

_/I love you, too, sweetie/_

'Die' Hiei frowned at himself. 'Stupid Jagan eye…' he thought. The spiky haired demon went over his 'deal' that he had made with the fox.

1) Make sure Yusuke and Kuwabara don't wreck Kurama's house.

_A crash was heard in the back ground "Damn it Kuwabara!"_

2) Don't kill Yusuke or Kuwabara or Botan or any humans at all for that matter and that Kuwabara and Yusuke don't kill themselves or get themselves killed.

_Hiei pouted and watched a random human cross the street - visions of shish-ka-bob'd human over open flames dancing through his mind_

3) Take extra special care of Kurama's plants.

_Another crash was heard from the house "Kurama's not going to like that Urameshi….!"_

4) Break any rules, land the two of them in jail, or anything else that would not be good - run for your life. And remember… you can run - but you can only run for so long…

"Damn you, fox…" Hiei muttered as another crash sounded from inside Kurama's house.

-

-

-

-

**Authors Note: Riiiiiight. Well, anyways, that was short. Not much to talk about now… la di da di da da da da laa…**

**Bomb: Ok, that was fun…**

**Yusuke: You're idea of fun is what goes through my mind when I have to listen to Koenma, Botan, and Keiko rant…**

**Keiko: Yusuke -smack- YOU -smack- JERK! -smack smack smack-**

**Yusuke: -swirly eyes- raa! Look at all the pretty foxes and green people with three eyes… wee hee he heh…**

**Kuwabara: Okay man you've lost.**

**Monty: He never had it in the first place you nit.**

**Kuwabara: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?**

**Monty: A lice egg.**

**Kuwabara: EWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! **

**Guy in bandages and dark cloak from above: -does Ace Ventura impression- Alllll riiighty then………**

**Ciao,**

**Bomb-O-Maniac**

**P.S. - TWO DAYS TIL' CHRISTMAS!!!**


	3. Sexy Kitsune and Sweet 'Kina

**Chapter Three**

**By: Bomb-O-Maniac**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. Hell, I don't even own the guy in the bandages! DAMN IT!**

**Warning: Stupidity lies ahead. Read at your own risk. I say again - STUPIDITY! NOT THE GREATEST CHAPTER IN THE WORLD! (I tried to hard...-sigh-)**

-

-

-

-

_My dearest, beautiful, sweet Yukina,_

_How are you? I'm fine. Just enjoying my oh so very lovely vacation in the Makai. I't so good to finally be able to romp around the demon world once again with out any silly humans or possessed fire demons with me slowing me down, making my ears hurt, trying to chop of some idiots heads… **SIGH** Did you know that there's STILL a bounty on my head?_

_Geez, the way those bounty hunters have been trying to kill me - you'd think I'd insulted their lesbian mothers or something.._

_I did, however, congratulate a nice toushin(1) couple on having such an ugly son… or I think it was a son. It was hard to tell - to horrendous to look at for very long with out having to gouge out my eyes…_

_ANYWAYS! Say hello to everyone for me. Give your brother (scratched out) I mean Hiei, a huge hug and a kiss, will you please? Oh, and while your at it, pinch Kuwabara on the right but cheek (be discreet, don't get caught now), write Yusuke an anonymous love letter from one Shishiwakumaru, and tell Touya and Jin I said "Hi!" _

_Sincerely, _

_The greatest (and sexiest) fox demon ever to live,_

_Youko Kurama a.k.a. HEY! LOOK AT HIM! HE'S HOT!_

_P.S. - Sorry about the blood stains… And if you need help with anything above just ask Genkai, Jin, or Touya…

* * *

_

A few days later…

* * *

_Dear Kitsune,_

_The Beautiful Koorime here. I must ask… Do I really have to pinch Kazuma-kun on the but cheek?_

_Jin says 'Hi!' (along with much energetic waving) and to bring him back a few Jade pearls and a keg of… ale? I think that's what he called it… Touya (who has agreed to help me with my endeavors with the Shishiwakumaru love letter) says "Don't you dare get killed or caught. There's no way in HELL that I am going back to Yomi's alone…". Genkai says basically the same thing - except for the Yomi part. Is he really that bad? (2)Yomi?_

_Hiei keeps saying something about 'sharp pointy objects' and 'baka kitsune's' and 'roast fox'. You may want to be careful when you come back, dear fox. Poor Hiei nearly passed out when I gave him a hug, and he blushed about twenty different shades of red when I kissed his cheek. He hasn't shown up since - I think I may have embarrassed him… Kuwabara was furious, and I can't for the life of me understand why! His eye keeps twitching all funny like…_

_Anyways. Have fun on your vacation, pretty fox. Please bring me some healing herbs when you come back, thanks. And avoid those Toushin's… I hear they can be very volatile._

_Sincerely,_

_(3)The not-so-sweet-as-everyone-thinks-but-still-beautiful koorime,_

_Yukina

* * *

_

Sent back as soon as he got it…

* * *

_Sweet Yukina,_

_No, you don't have to pinch Kuwabara on the but. Even I wouldn't want to do that - and I'm bi! _

_Ask Jin to do it. If he refuses - just give him a cookie or three, and THEN he'll do it. Though, you might want to watch out for the hyper-ness, and not to mention Touya's wrath for letting out an insane flying red headed annoyingly happy leprechaun… But I'm sure you can deal with Touya… **WINK WINK**_

_And yes, Yomi really is that bad. He's worse actually. Remind me never to take you there. Ever._

_Sincerely,_

_Your One and Only Sexy Kitsune

* * *

_

And sent back once mooooore….

* * *

_Fox,_

_Oh, thank GOD!_

'_Kina

* * *

_

Kurama hummed as he walked seemingly uncaring down a large crowded street in his Youko form. I know what you're thinking. Kurama's just WAY to damn smart to actually be dumb enough to walk around like that. That's like, SOOOOO out of character for him. But! My dear fan girls, you forget that I am the authoress at the moment and Kurama is on some sorta happy binge at the moment SO SUCK IT UP AND LIVE WITH IT BIATCHES!

**-Ahem-**

Anyways… Current scores?

Bounty Hunters: None, zip, nada, zero!

Youko Kurama: Four thousand eight hundred and twenty six - wait, make that twenty seven now…

"Dun di dum di dummm…" Yeap. He was in a good mood. After supposedly being dead for the past 15 years and then miraculously coming back to life to find out that they're STILL after you and they STILL want you dead and every one STILL fears your very name and existence - really did a huge number on ones ego.

Not to mention that he hadn't lost his mojo. Yeap, that's right, MOJO! Boy did he still have it. How can you tell? Why! Just look at the swooning women in his wake and fainting females and those creepy homo's eyeing him as he walked!

It felt GOOD to back as a fox.

It also felt good to be able to steal the toupee's of those ugly folk's heads once again.

Youko Kurama grinned as he added yet a few more head rags to his nicely growing collection.

Ohhhh, ain't that a particularly shinny head peace….

**-BIG EVIL GRIN-**

"Mwahahahahahaha….." Kurama chuckled evilly as he stalked through the crowd towards the person with the shiny headgear.

The eunuch's eyed him oddly as he passed by.

He stopped and eyed them back.

Neither eunuch's or silver fox blinked. Tension sparked between them because we all know that many eunuch's are religious folk, and they don't take to kindly to the lusty fox's outright shows of, umm, being lusty. Either that, or one could always say that they're just jealous because they haven't got any balls…. It's really your call…

And so, the starring, continued.

"WAKA WAKA WAKA!" Kurama jumped at them suddenly, waving his arms around and yelling.

"EEEEEEEEEEK!" screamed the eunuchs and ran away.

Youko Kurama grinned smugly and continued on walking. Proud of himself for scaring the bejeebuz our of a bunch of religious nuts.

_

* * *

_

The guy wrapped in numerous bandages and a really big ass cloak paced the cave where he was staying. Darn those seers. Always giving out faulty information. DAMN THEM-**SIGH-** Why did they ALL have to go and make this so hard for him? All he wanted to do was find Youko Kurama? I mean, how can you NOT want to find him?

What ever your own personal reasons might be (you sick, sick fan girls!) - this was not the case for the overly bandaged man.

The tall man held up a clawed hand, from which dangled a dark ruby pendant. It glistened and glittered in the moonlight. He smirked.

Yes, this man's reasons for finding the silver fox were entirely different.

_**

* * *

**_

_**AUHTORS NOTES!**_

_**(1) Toushin - A Toushin is a demon war god. Yusuke is a Toushin. Kurama insulted a pair of Toushin's on their new kid. Would YOU consider that a good idea?**_

_**(2) Sorry to all you Yomi-lovers. But I'm not the biggest of his fans out there. I don't hate him, but I really don't like him. Now Shura, on the other hand, I'll kill when I get my hands on him… BWAHAHA!**_

_**(3) If you don't like out of character-ness, I don't care. It's not supposed to be by the book at the moment. He's on a freaking happy binge! Honestly! And I'm delving into Yukina's more Hiei-ish side **_

_**(4) I have nothing against Kuwabara. I really don't. I love Kuwabara. He's awesome! But for now, I'm still going with her more Hiei-ish side, so just go with the follow…**_

_**Any questions?**_

_**Ask.**_

_**Until I update next time (when ever that may be…),**_

_**Bomb-O-Maniac**_

_**P.S. - Have I mentioned that I don't like Sasuke off Naruto? I read the first book today (don't worry I barrowed it, I don't steal… - shifty eyes - ) Naruto is annoying, and I REALLY REALLY HATE SAKURA! ARGH! Kakashi is awesome and so is Iruka! They both rock!**_


End file.
